New Year, New You

Recycle • Recreate • Revitalize

We do it with complete garbage. We recycle. Why don't we do it with our own life's rubbish? Why not recreate our mental junk and turn it into a lesson that finally makes a difference and creates a beautiful thing?

I like the concept of new year, new you, not as a means to discard and erase the past. But, through the lens of reflection, taking the chance to renew ourselves. With the right frame of mind, looking back can be an opportunity to redeem ourselves.

Step 1 - Take a Deep Look into the Past

Our muddy past is our crystal clear future. We can stir the dirt up to the surface and make an honest attempt at cleansing just like water after the underbelly of the debris settles. Take a look at people who have come and gone. Perhaps some of them left you. Could this mean you did something hurtful? Or maybe you left them behind in an attempt at self-preservation. Did you ignore your instincts? Maybe you made the wrong choice of work or moved to the wrong city or town. Were you running away from something painful? Try to understand why and what went wrong. Knowing something deeply and without judgment is true love.

Step 2 - Intentional Accountability

Once you understand where you went wrong, you will have to restore yourself. Doing so may require a heartfelt apology or a sincere attempt at redemption. Expressing your heartbreak is about vulnerability and letting the other person or yourself know that you take responsibility.

Step 3 - Know When to Walk Away

Often you may be pleasantly surprised by the outcome. People can be gracious and hopefully want to forgive you. But you must also be okay if they need to forget you. Be open to either possibility. You may have to move forward just knowing you did your best. This is not about fixing, just opening up and revealing yourself.

Step 4 - True Forgiveness

Those are the first steps, but the final one requires forgiveness not from someone or something but from yourself. If you have sincerely admitted your "crime" or misstep and genuinely tried to make amends, you can finally let go. 

Like a snake, when you process your pain, you shed your skin and leave a part of your old self behind. Much of who you are is unprocessed trauma. That is a tremendous pain in itself. You are not who you need to be until you heal. Say hello to an actual new you and let go of who you aren’t.